Shelby is launching something soon, stay tuned!
[3:10] Shelby had an experience that prompted this episode where she expressed concern to an individual looking for an apology, and the response she received was “this was your fault”.
In a restaurant an employee asked her to address her kids’ behavior. It wasn’t that he asked her to address it, it was how he did it. She gathered her things and left the restaurant and later confronted the manager and employee.
Shelby lost a friendship over this before. She was hurt, angry, lashed out, and told a friend everything she did that hurt her. Anger and pride got in the way of apologizing rather than giving the gift of friendship.
[6:40] So, what does a good apology look like? Learning how to apologize well is a critical piece in any relationship.
Shelby: “If I lose my temper I stop and immediately say sorry. I apologize like this: “Landon, I lost my temper and I yelled at you, I am sorry, will you forgive me?”
I don’t say I yelled or was angry, because you did this, because that isn’t truly an apology.”
Own the fact that others’ actions don’t cause your behavior
[10:15] First thing kids to when they get in trouble is blame someone else. No! Quit blaming other people and take ownership for what you did! It takes humility to do this correctly
[11:21] Sometimes an apology is needed to re-establish a relationship, even if what you did wasn’t wrong.
“What I did wasn’t wrong, but I didn’t mean to upset you. Is there another way I can say it?”
Own up for how your words came out, communicate your intent better
- Own your part when you make a mistake
- Take inventory for how others are feeling and validate their feelings
- Communicate clearly when you are upset
- In order to forgive someone, they have to be guilty first. [18:10]
- In order to resolve conflict in a healthy manner, a key part of that is being able to apologize well [21:07]
Thank you all again for tuning in to our podcast! We truly appreciate it. If you ever have questions or topics you would like us to cover you can email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
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